Best Director, Using Index Cards and Picnic Baskets
Daniel Myrick and Ed Sanchez, The Blair Witch Project
Best Picture, Kevin Smith’s Mind
Dogma
Best Sentimental Performance, Non-Robin-Williams
John Ratzenberger as Mr. Potato Head, Toy Story 2
Best Reason to Mispronounce “Jan de Bont.”
The Haunting
Outstanding Performance by a Cocker Spaniel
Julia Roberts, Runaway Bride
Outstanding Performance by a Bitchy Child
Haley Joel Osment, The Sixth Sense
Best Camping
The Blair Witch Project
Picture Best Representing a Carl’s Jr. Hamburger
Superstar
Award for Casting Accuracy
Rosie O’Donnell as Terk the Ape, Tarzan
Best Underground Director
Stanley Kubrick, Eyes Wide Shut
Best Picture, Based on Someone Else’s Picture
The Blair Witch Project
Best Picture Andy Kaufman Didn’t See
Julien Donkey-Boy
Picture With the Most White People In It
Summer of Sam, dir. Spike Lee
Best Crawl-Into-A-Celebrity’s-Head-And-Finally-Understand-What-He’s-Thinking Picture
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Best Midget
Kevin Costner, Message in a Bottle
Best Performance by a Solicitor of Whores
Hugh Grant, Notting Hill
Best Actor, Hands Down
Ahmed Best as Jar Jar Binks, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Best Performance By A Smoker
Heather Donahue, The Blair Witch Project
Best Picture With “American” In Title
American Lame-O, The Life and Times of George Lucas (U.K.)
Best Consistent Display of One Single Emotion
Matt Damon, The Talented Mr. Ripley
Film Alex Trebek Most Disappointed In
Double Jeopardy
Hustler’s Hottest Adult Film of 1999
Jenna Blows Skywalker Ranch But George Likes Men
Best “Matrix-esque” Film
The 13th Floor
Shortest Film
8mm
The Indie Credibility Award for Tackling Cliche Situations with Immeasurable Mediocrity
20 Dates
Best Film James Cameron Saw All Year
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
