Audie & The Wolf (2008)

So this one was a Deusy.

A werewolf picture. Only here’s the twist: Instead of a man turning into a wolf…

A WOLF turns into a MAN.

And that hook is about as good as this, my 3rd feature film, gets.

And even that concept was thought of by my friend Frank Kowal III, who you may remember as the lead from my 1997 mutant feature, Bleak Future, when Frank reminded me while drinking at the Red Lion in Silver Lake, about a short story he wrote some 20 years previous, which posed the question:  What is the natural, default state of the werewolf?  Is it man? Or wolf?

I thought that was a great hook to hang a film on. And I wasn’t even all that drunk.

I wrote the script over a weekend and had to fit the whole story into an 18-day shooting schedule in one single location:  a producer’s mansion off of Franklin and Normandy in Hollywood.

The 18 days turned into 21 or so, and it was generally a lot of fun to shoot, despite an amount of political slogging that was beyond necessary, and despite a sharp pain in my abdomen brought on from pancreatitis shortly before production began.

We had a super-talented indie darling attached as the lead of Audie who was looking to make a comeback after years of substance-related troubles (For illustrative purposes only, let’s just say her first name rhymed with Atosha, and her last name rhymed with Me Own), but she nearly killed our film with delays and emotional tirades on her first day of shooting. (This, after dangling us along for five months, not ever committing to the part until the very last minute, when no other offer popped up from some bigger, better film company.)

So the team and I decided to let her go that night, so she wouldn’t be bogged down by our unprofessionalism and general oafery, and replace her with the even-more talented and hella cool ex-pat New Englander, Tara Price, who wowed the team in auditions, but whom we had to eschew in favor of the indie darling who would’ve, theoretically, helped our film more.

With actor/magician/comedian Derek Hughes climbing aboard as the lead wolf, and screen legend Rance Howard agreeing to slum it on our film as a drunk, housecalling doctor, we cranked out what could’ve been a really good film, except for the writing, directing, producting, editing, and color correction.  The music, sound mix, acting, cinematography?  All great.

It was intended to be a quickie horror film in pursuit of a buck, but somewhere along the line the whole team got it into their heads that it had potential for more.  We were wrong.

There’s a few good moments in it, and it’s great fun to watch the talented cast do their thing, but it’s ultimately a forgettable film.

Live and learn, right?  Next.

B.

Director/Writer B. O’Malley
Director of Photography Kenneth Yeung
Producer Roger Mayer and his team
Derek Hughes, Tara Price, Rance Howard, Atticus Todd, Annabelle Milne
The producers’ website, straight out of 1998:
http://audieandthewolf.com

B. O’Malley’s Oscar Picks 2007

Best Actor
Chuck D., The Second to The Last King of Scotland

Best Impersonation of The Queen of England
Peter O’Toole, Venus

Best Gun Movie
Volver

Best Drive-In Movie
An Inconvenient Truth

Best Sequel
United 93

Best Pharmacists
Anna Nicole Smith

Best Bad German Movie
The Good German

Best Picture Based on Fractions
Half Nelson

Best Why
Because I Said So

Best Fishy Beard
Kevin Smith, Catch and Release

Best Picture, PMS
Blood and Chocolate

Best Self-Reflective or Existential Conversation Scenes in Italian Restaurant
Rocky Balboa

Best Film Based on a Cleaning Product
tie: Eragon and Flushed Away

The Best Movie A Bunch of Dead Jocks Could Inspire
We Are Marshall

Don’t Know How They Did It, But They Made Motown Completely Gay Award
Dreamgirls

Best Zombie Movie
A Prairie Home Companion

Best Thinly-Veiled Rehash of Blackboard Jungle, Stand and Deliver, and Dangerous Minds
Happy Feet

Best Voicemail I’ve Ever Received
Snakes on a Plane

Best Drink Coaster
Lady In The Water DVD

Best Performance by a Performer Getting His or Her Balls Tortured
Daniel Craig, Casino Royale

Best Banana Boobies
Apocalypto

Why Americans Still Hate The French Award
Parfum – Le Histoire d’un Meurtrier

Best Donkey Fucking
Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties

Best Picture Featuring a Coppola Buried in Rubble
Marie Antoinette

Boppin’ At The Glue Factory (2005)


I co-wrote and produced this feature, about a junkie nurse at an old folks home, starting in 2000 when I teamed up with Jeff Orgill to help finish the script which he’d started with Hector Maldonado several years previous.

The film was the result of just saying “Fuck it, let’s go!” after years of hemming and hawing about name actors this, million dollar budget that, etc.

We shot at an abandoned mental hospital in Norwalk that had been the location for many Hollywood films. The film came within an inch of shut-down nearly every single day we were shooting, and, despite Orgill’s good-natured approach to filmmaking, was often rife with petty bullshit and drama, from jockeying jackoff grips on the crew whose egos outsized their abilities, to knuckledragger know-nothing art department people being promoted to producer for god-knows-why.

Of course, that’s not to say that the film didn’t have its share of awesome people aboard. From Geoff Chang, veteran AC who came aboard for a few days gratis in order to train up a number of our greenhorns, to the stellar soundguy Tom Curley, to whip-smart, intuitive production assistants like Ryan Jordan, and grips like the ever-handy Kevin “Penn” Williams.  It was folks like these who made the shoot fun, despite the pinheads.

As an optimist and the kind of guy who wants to hear many opinions before he finalizes a cut, Orgill spent, in my opinion, way too much time listening to folks who had suggestions on his or Editor Chris Miglio’s rough cuts.  One of Jeff’s biggest assets is his “big-tent” mentality, which is to say, he likes to get notes from whomever he can, because he’s of the opinion that “Hey, good ideas can come from anywhere.”  Unfortunately, in doing so with Boppin’, he often wasted a shitload of time taking notes from complete, insufferable dullards.

But despite a few initial delays in post, Orgill set aside the notes and the committees and made the film he wanted to make, and now it’s finally found its way to several great film festivals and other outlets.

The final result?  In my opinion?  A really solid, fun little indie feature which I’m hella proud of co-writing and producing.

More information and even the film itself can be found at the film’s website.

Director Jeff Orgill
Screenplay by Jeff Orgill and B. O’Malley
Producer B. O’Malley
http://boppinatthegluefactory.com/

Entire Mexican Family Chokes on Tomb Raider Toy

VAN NUYS — Oscar Valaderilla, 22, thought he was doing a good thing late Tuesday afternoon. “I just wanted to show my support for the marketing arm of the Hollywood film industry” he said in Spanish outside the intensive care unit at USC Medical Center, having lost three sons — ages 2, 3, and 5 — just hours earlier, and waiting for word on the condition of his comatose wife Esmerelda, also 22. Valaderilla stopped by a Burbank Taco Bell on the way home his job at the Mexican embassy, and brought a 10-pack of soft tacos, three tostadas, three extra large Diet Cokes, and a single Tomb Raider “Kids’ Meal” toy home to his family. The result would prove fatal. “First, Jaime put it in his mouth and choked, and he spit it up, then my wife took it away and broke it into four smaller pieces,” Valaderilla explained through a translator. “Then somehow… Little Herberto…Oscar Jr…. I don’t know… they all ended up choking on the pieces. I don’t understand. I thought this was America.”